Shuffle
by teh-Sara
Summary: Sawyer/Juliet. A shuffle song challenge; 4 drabbles on 4 songs. "...but does she even like you? I mean, like like you?"


**Shuffle**

**Author's Note: **I stole this challenge from kab16 (with permission, so I guess it isn't really stealing) who stole it from rikoxriko. The rules were these:

_1.__ Pick a character, pairing, or fandom you like.  
2. Turn on your music player and put it on random/shuffle.  
3. Write a drabble related to each song that plays. You only have the time frame of the song to finish the drabble; you start when the song starts, and stop when it's over. No lingering afterwards!  
4. Do ten of these, then post them._

But listen, I'm not great at rules. Sooo, I'm only going to do four because I'm sleepy, and I'm going to FINISH each one, but if that goes over the song time, I'll wrap it up quickly. Now let's hope I get some good songs.

I'll follow the trend and send this out to **kab16** and **KaydenceRei**, both of whom spell their names WRONG. :)

Enjoy,  
Sara

*

_Sister soldier you've been such a positive influence on my mental frame.  
__If I could ever repay you I would but I'm hard up for cash and my memory lacks initiative  
_L.G. FUAD (Motion City Soundtrack)

"There isn't anything else you can say," she said. Her jaw was set in a way that told him she was serious; he'd seen this face one too many times.

"Juliet – "

She put up her hand.

"Oh no ya don't," he growled back at her. "Don't you go shutting down on me."

"There isn't anything else you can say to me," she shot back.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yes." Her eyes were cold steel.

"You wanna know why I do the things I do?"

She narrowed her eyes; she was curious. She gave an almost imperceptible nod.

"Because you've changed me, and it scares the hell out of me."

She brushed her hair over one shoulder. "That bad?"

"No, not that _bad_, dammit. I'm doing things that don't make sense to me. I'm doing things that _Sawyer_ doesn't do, things that Sawyer would never do. For Chrissake, I'm going by _James_ now. And then there's this woman that's driving me absolutely _crazy_ and I can't do anything to stop it." He took a deep breath and looked at her closely.

"And this is how you repay me?" she asked.

"I'm scared," he admitted.

"Of being someone you aren't, or of being someone you are?"

He looked down at the ground. "Both."

*

_These two words are normal but extraordinary,  
__Together mean nothing like tugboats and hairy.  
_Barnicles and Stripes (Something with Numbers)

"You like _Juliet_?" Miles stared at him with a gaping mouth.

"What's so wrong with that?" James asked, slightly perturbed by the other man's reaction.

"Do you even like her?" Miles paused. "Well, obviously – but does she even like you? I mean, _like _like you?"

James shook his head slowly. "What are we, in fifth grade?"

"I'm being serious," Miles deadpanned.

"Maybe she _like_ likes me, I don't know."

"I – wow – I don't even know what to say."

Sawyer grunted in complaint. "I don't get it. We've been here six months, you really think it's so strange?"

Miles nodded. "Listen, you two – you two are like…Oil and water, fire and ice, Santa and the Easter Bunny, whatever doesn't go together!"

With a sigh, Sawyer leaned back, rubbing his chin. "Maybe that's what makes it excitin'."

*

_Days pass  
Time flies  
You don't realize  
Today you waste  
_Empires (10 Years)

He was out the door before she could get an answer out of him. Of course something was up, why else would Jin have called so early, on James' day off, no less?

She lay back in bed, pulling the covers tightly over her. It was over, this life they'd made for themselves. She knew that already. She knew they were back – Kate, Jack, Locke, all of them, for all she knew.

And yesterday – yesterday she'd found out she was pregnant. She should've told him, but it was too late now.

-

The Dharma jeep bumped toward the location that Jin had reported, and James felt both hope and dread in the pit of his stomach. He saw her first – Kate – he figured he'd always be able to pick her out in a crowd. But she wasn't his now, never had been, and for once, he didn't want to chase after her.

Yesterday he'd gotten the engagement ring.

*

_I could follow you to the beginning  
__Just to relive the start  
__Maybe then we'd remember to slow down  
__At all of our favorite parts  
_All I Wanted Was You (Paramore)

It's worth letting go; it's worth dying.

It's worth it – _just because we love each other doesn't mean we belong together._

She wakes to _Downtown_, and later that day, she burns the muffins (and her hand) again. Not everyone enjoyed Stephen King's _Carrie_ as much as she did.

He's still there, somewhere in the back of her mind, and as she watches the plane break apart overhead, her breath hitches in her throat. Her memories flood back; she rushes into her house and empties the contents of her stomach into the porcelain toilet bowl.

She can almost hear him – _don't you leave me._

Her stomach hitches again – it's still over 3 months before they're on speaking terms, it's almost a year before he loves her again, if he ever does.

But she'll try. She owes it to him; after all, she was the one who let go.


End file.
